THE BLOG OF SECRETS…

IT’S ALL ABOUT ME AND YOU…

DID U KNOW OSCAR WILDE? August 4, 2008

Filed under: MY WHIMS — salted7s @ 6:06 pm
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THESE WHIMS OF MINE + FOND MEMORIES OF GROOVY EXPERIENCES 3 YEARS AGO AT PLAYA DEL FUEGO; AH, SUCH SWEET DELIGHTS…

Darlings, climb inside your WAY BACK MACHINE & pack an overnight bag; we’re on a mission: TO DEFEND YOUR REPUTATION!  Set the dial to the year 1895, destination?  The Marquis of Queensbury.  Mindset?  Assisting famed Irish author Oscar Wilde.  We will help Mr. Wilde sue the Marquis of Queensbury for libel.  The Marquis publicly insinuated that Wilde was having an affair with his son!  His son?  The Lord Alfred Douglas.  We must first avoid what happened: THE BACKFIRE!  When the Marquis’ defense proved somewhat stronger than Wilde’s prosecution, the suit went haywire!  He needs OUR HELP!  We can be character witnesses!  His sexuality was being bombarded with judgment, moralistic beatings, & ignorant misguided purgatory!  With evidence of Mr. Wilde’s sexuality out in the open, the courts chose to be very sneaky and instead of pursuing their original prosecution, they waited later that same year to convict Mr. Wilde on charges of sodomy!  Of course, we must keep in mind how our actions to help Mr. Wilde will change history.  Consider: All of Wilde’s published essays, poems, books of collections of his thoughts-all motivated & inspired by his imprisonment, will be completely erased from our libraries, our educations, our right to learn the truth of humanity!  Maybe, we should reconsider; let Wilde sit in his cell back in 1895 & screw his reputation at the time he was alive.  Afterall, Oscar Wilde certainly has rocked my world & continues to every time I read his words!  Folks, let us not play Time Shifters.  Instead, I am going to ride in my WAY BACK MACHINE to last Sunday night when I fell in love with a woman who ingeniously embodies the delicious energy of Annie Lennox & David Byrne.  She & I danced, laughed, kissed, spanked, rolled around on the ground, spat on disbelievers, hung out with WHISKEY & WHORES, sat by fires, tickled the night by adding our own stars, wore punk rock smut, challenged anyone to play Superman, sang the “Penis Song”, went beyond the 7 different mind bending exercises bringing ourselves to level 9, & completely letting ourselves fall into a glistening pool of lubed up latex & sweet candied kisses only true free singing souls know how to deliver.  SO, DID U KNOW?  I’M IN LOVE WITH ANOTHER KINDRED SPIRIT…IF YOU’RE READING THIS MY NEW SONG BIRD (MY DARLING BEAUTIFUL LADY), IMAGINE ME ON MY KNEES IN FRONT OF YOU UNDERNEATH TWILIGHT SCENTED HEAVEN, WEARING OLD SKOOL ROLLER SKATES, & THANKING YOU FINE THANG FOR FLYING INTO MY LIFE!  FRIENDSHIP UNDEFINABLY GIFTED!  CIAU!

 

YOU MIGHT DIG ON THESE THOUGHTS…

Filed under: MY WHIMS — salted7s @ 2:52 am
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Hmm…  Yet again (upon reflection of the past 10 years of my existence) I have found myself stinking of testorserone, falling into an isolation tank made with my own hands out of whatever remaining brain cells treading cerebral liquids within my skull & litterally am disconnected from any meaningfull female relationship.  I NEED SOME FUCKIN’ ESTROGEN…  ALL MY FRIENDS CURRENTLY ARE PACKING DICKS…  which is all good-they are all true pals, but they don’t understand estrogen induced thoughts, actions, etc.  Am I stranded on the Planet of the Apes?

I am feeling the fiery results of shedding my skin underneath the Universe’s very own & uniquely accurate microscope that I impulsively “borrowed” after distracting the eternal ever-expanding, extremely free unconditional lover of all & nothing of all.  In doing so, have I entered into Nothingness?  If so, contentment has arrived…

-Bad news: I’m so fuckin’ opinionated, I should have a talk show…  Maybe titled: “I DON’T GIVE A FUCK WHAT YOU THINK”.  First subject: Reflections on cocaine: Are the 80’s back? 

IS THE BLINDNESS TOWARDS REALITY IS THE TRUE ADDICTION?

IGNORANCE IS BLISSFUL?  MY OWN MOTHER IS SOO DIGGIN’ SENILITY-SHE LOVES FORGETTING SHIT-SHE SMILES A HELL OF ALOT MORE NOW.

AND I DON’T BLAME ‘EM.  FUCK, LIFE IS WILD MAN…  WHO AM I TO JUDGE WHAT FOLKS DO TO COPE?

LIFE CONTINUES TO BE MORE & MORE CHALLENGING.  IS OUR WORLD BECOMING SO FAST PACED, IT’S ALMOST NOW IMPOSSIBLE FOR ONE TO PHATHOM ANYONE NOT SUFFERING FROM COPING WITH __________________________ BY UTILIZING_________________(fill in the blank). 

ADD TO ADHD?

OH GLORIOUS RITALIN, HOW I LOVE THEE?

 

HERE’S ANOTHER ONE*OF*MY*ISMS’ FOR YOU ALL TO HELP ME DECIPHER:

Filed under: MY WHIMS — salted7s @ 2:46 am
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It’s Saturday.  Nothing.  Got absolutely nada.  Would really dig bringing fields of blooming daises, vibrating colors galore, fresh onion grass, gnats teasing to ruin such a nice spring day, those billowing white seed transporters that effortlessly sail thru salty humid air promising your deepest wishes to be granted if you dare to pick it’s feathery whispery wings from it’s heavenly zephyr, the reddest of all that are free-spirited lady bugs, a fist full of smooth soft sun warmed dirt, squiggly gooey slugs, pulsating spiralling worms, extra large flying insects rotting into cemented city porches, long island ice teas with those incredibly cheezee umbrellas that secretly (shh!) some of us would get a kick out of being shrunk down to the size of a paper-clip just to enjoy the delicate shade these island drinks provide (with twisty straws), sun tickled skin, fluttering scents of genuine fermones seducing icicles to melt off of hearts previously consumed with fear, and most of all…  I truly wish all will forever be sporting bright clean loving smiles-NO MATTER WHAT.


Okay, how ’bout that for complete (trying!) gentleness?  Honestly, I feel as though the westernized culture in which I live has caused me an amazing amount of challenges I’d rather give up, even just for one day, even if I became a rock or a potato, or some sort of ignorant old lady-so senile, nothing matters-all of what I’ve learned thus far, yes I’m grateful for.  Yet, I’d be a damn fool if I didn’t take a leave of absence from my brain, just for one fucking day.  


Hmm…  What would I trade?  Is this truly a matter of in which a trade would take place?   With whom would I trade with?  Who would capitalize on this bizarre (not really; if ya relate, ya ain’t nuts) treaty I’d be creating with?????  God?  Me?  Universe?  Black Holes?  Worm Holes?  Devilish Cupids?  Who gives a fuck?  At least re: above rantings on potential money making situations involving my soul.


I’ll tell ya all this:

Sometimes I wish I wasn’t Gypsy…

 

AH, SWALLOWING THE SALT OF SINNERS & A LIST OF PAST JOBS July 4, 2008

Filed under: MY WHIMS — salted7s @ 6:12 pm
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(currently reviewing a night when two sleep deprived ears listened as one TV induced spinster disguised as an orange, but smellin’ of rotting lipids tell tall tales of reality while poking nerves with a cattle prod=realizing that living with a robot ain’t fun)

1-ZOO KEEPER
2-PUPPETER
3-TICKET TAKER
4-CAROUSEL CARE TAKER
5-PARK RANGER COFFEE MAKER
6-ART MUSEUM SECURITY GUARD
7-FLORIST
8-BIKE COURIER
9-CONEY ISLAND FREAK SHOW
10-SINNERS’ SIDESHOW
11-MOSIAC TILE ARTISAN
12-MEDIA TRANSCRIBER
13-ART MODEL
14-GO-GO DANCER
15-WAITRESS
16-BARTENDER
17-ACTRESS
18-BURLESQUE DANCER
19-LOUNGE SINGER
20-MAKE-UP ARTIST
21-SET DESIGNER
22-OBSESSIVE COLLECTOR OF TALK SHOW CO-HOSTS’ AUTOBIOGRAPHIES
23-LINGERIE BUYER
24-ARTS INSTRUCTOR
25-STILL RUNNING FROM THE MOB
26-VINTAGE DEALER
27-SUGAR BABY CASHIER
28-DISH WASHER
29-CAR WASHER
30-HAIR WASHER
31-FLAG BURNER
32-BURNER
33-MISS COURDARY OF THE YEAR 3X IN A ROW
34-MEDICAL TESTING VOLUNTEER
35-SCHOOL BUS DRIVER
36-JUMPED OUT OF BIRTHDAY CAKES
37-CIGARRETTE GIRL
38-ILLUSTRATOR
39-ROCKER
40-RODE THE CYCLONE 27X IN A ROW
41-INTERIOR DECORATER
42-HOUSE PAINTER
43-SIGN PAINTER
44-UNIQUE ASHTRAY IMPORTER
45-LIST MAKER
46-ART THERAPIST
47-ENERGY VIBRATOR
48-COSMIC RESEARCHER
49-WINE TASTER
50-GLARE DEFENDER
51-TEMPORARY STEP-MOTHER
52-TELEPHONE REPAIR
53-COMMUNITY CALENDAR READER
54-BREADMAKER
55-CHESS PLAYER
56-VIBE OBSERVER
57-N20 EXPORTER
58-PORTRAIT PAINTER
59-OFFICIAL REFEREE NFL
60-TOOTHBRUSH SCRUBBER
61-PRIVATE EYE
62-BREATHER
63-GIFT WRAPPER
64-DIRECTOR NON-PROFITER
65-TELEPHONE PSYCHIC
66-KOSMANAUT
67-GEISHA 
68-PRETZEL TWISTER
69-ELVIS P. CHANNELER
70-NEVER WORE BRACES
71-SALON MANAGER
72-COFFEE MAKER
73-COFFEE HOUSE MANAGER
74-BOOK STORE BROWSER
75-NOT TODAY FOLLOWER
76-OFTEN MISTAKEN FOR …
77-KIMSTER
78-KIMBALINA
79-NEVER PASSED THE LSTATS
80-NEVER CARED FOR ASSHOLES
81-HAVE BEEN AN ASSHOLE
82-INTUITIVE THINKER
83-DOG WALKER
84-SOCK MENDER
85-NETWORK SECURITY SPECIALIST
86-LITTER PICKER-UPPER
87-SEASONAL HYBERNATER
88-LINE COOK
89-VOICE MAKE OVER
88-STAMP LICKER
89-PERSONAL SHOPPER
90-BITER
91-CHALICE HIDDER
92-HOLY GRAIL SEEKER
93-SPIRIT PROTECTOR
94-WAS A GENIUS TILL PUBERTY HIT
95-IMPROV COMIC
96-COMPULSIVE SEA GLASS SEARCHER
97-CROSSWALK GUARD
98-PROMISORY NOTE TAKER
99-CLOSED COURT OFFICER
100-DNA TESTER
101-GLITTER SPRAYER
102-STOLE SOME BOWLING SHOES
103-VICE PRESIDENT OF BOILING SNAIL SOUP COLLECTIVE
104-SPOKESPERSON FOR MAJOR BRAND NAME DEODERANT
105-ALWAYS WONDERED IF THE ACTORS IN THOSE HERPES REMIDIES COMMERCIALS DISLIKE PUTTING THEIR AD ACTING EXPERIENCE ON THEIR RESUMES
106-RECOVERING DRAMA QUEEN
107-SPITBALL SURVIVOR
108-INTERNATIONAL PROFESSIONAL JELLO WRESTLER
109-CORN DOG HORNSTER
110-DREAMER

111-WRITER OF MORE LATER